- by: Liberace at Home
- in Uncategorized
Ladies and wolf-men, boys and ghouls, gather round for our annual Halloween Costume Contest results! Here at the TrueLine Publishing office in Portland, we are pulling out all the stops, bringing our best, weirdest, creepiest and funniest for the occasion.
Each year, our team of rather serious professionals dons an array of disguises to thrill and chill. And this is no ordinary costume contest. The competition is brutal, pitting editorial against administration against production against ad sales. We have posted some highlights from years past on our blog to give you an idea.
The stakes are high this year, with prizes in three categories: most original, coolest and funniest. Each winner will receive a $50 gift card to blow on extravagant furs, or beer or maybe just lunch for the next week. Our contestants have worked hard and dressed to kill. Let’s take a look at our winners:
Editorial Director, Sean O’Reilly, took home the prize for most original with his hand-constructed Goomba costume, inspired by Nintendo’s famous Mario Brothers Games. O’Reilly says he is participating in a group costume with his roommates this year, however, he arrived to the office solo. We were fortunate to have a Mario arrive on his own to kick the Goomba back to the gates of hell in case things got weird.
In a groundbreaking turn of events, O’Reilly also received recognition for his Goomba costume in the Most Original category. Our office staff was impressed with the costume’s unique construction, consisting of a 55-gallon plastic trash can, layered with pillows, Bubble Wrap and duct tape for shaping. “You couldn’t believe how much Bubble Wrap you can get at Wal-Mart for $16,” Sean explains. “Seriously.” The exterior of the costume is a delicate wrap of brown cotton, with hot-glued facial features. Gorgeous.
With major cash flow now at his disposal, Sean has made a comprehensive list of what he’ll use his winnings for. To start, he plans to pay his girlfriend back for her role in purchasing the large trashcan used to make the Goomba suit. After that, he will be scouring Craigslist for a Super Nintendo game system, in fair to good condition. With the remaining $10, he says he will return to Binga’s Stadium next door to take the “Nuclear Challenge” again. The challenge, which consists of a shot of Fireball, then three “nuclear” wings and followed by another shot of Fireball, is a test of culinary masochism that he particularly enjoys.
Sean was finally defeated in the last category. Editorial assistant, Joe Atwood, took home the prize for his old-man costume. Inspired by our upcoming segment on skilled-nursing, assisted living and memory care facilities, Joe claims, “I just love old people. I can’t wait to be one.” Joe has made an impressive show of staying in character throughout the day, sucking on Werther’s Original hard candies, complaining of joint pain and leaving a pair of dentures on the sink in our office bathroom.
Joe was thrilled to receive his gift card, especially considering his fixed income and the rising cost of arthritis medication. He plans to use his winnings to take his lady friend, Lancelette Pelletier, our for a high-class earlybird dinner at the Old Country Buffet over by the mall. When asked what specifically he is looking forward to, Joe cheered, “Mashed potatoes!”
This year’s Halloween party has been our best yet. Our staff showed great creativity. We had a ton of great characters wandering the floor today including Bob Ross, Mary Poppins, Quail man, Neo from The Matrix, Lil Wayne and even a retro-cute Catwoman.
Well done, little monsters. All is well that ends well. We are spending the remainder of our day here at TrueLine nursing carb comas and binging on candy. Remember: too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL! Stay safe, monitor your candy intake and have a Happy Halloween!
Want to see what the competition looked like? Check out our Facebook page for more photos.